Grace for an Imperfect Perfectionist

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Hi All,

This Wednesday, I made a mistake in my schedule, which caused me to miss a tutoring session for my ACT test. I was absolutely sure that my session was an hour later than it actually was. For those of you who know me personally, you know that I am a perfectionist. Before this event took place, I “happened” to read about expectations in the book Wild and Free by Jess Connolly and Hayley Morgan. Author Hayley Morgan described how living a life of fulfilling expectations which are not God’s expectations will drain and hinder you in your walk with the Lord. When I messed up my tight-ship schedule, I was crushed because I expect myself to be “top-notch” and A+ exceptional type of quality. After spending quite some time beating myself over the head because I had screwed up, I heard the Lord saying something to me, “I not only died for your transgressions, but I also died for your inadequacies and imperfections. My perfect nature and perfect grace covers your faults. In your weakness I am still me. My grace is a gift. Stop striving to be the picture of a perfect woman because there is no perfect woman. You cannot reach a point of perfection in your human nature. A life of perfectionism will only drain you, for you will fail. I do not fail. Accept my grace.” My response that day and the rest of this week has been, “God drench me in your grace. Please free me from the snares of my own perfect expectations. Speak grace into my life.”

The book Wild and Free asked me where my expectations that dictated my life originated from, and as I reflected and dug deeper into the pit of my soul, I realized that my own self-imposed expectations and mine alone were hindering me. It is funny because even simple “mistakes” I make can bother me. I remember at some point this week being frustrated with myself for accidentally using improper grammar while on the phone with someone. How stupid is that? God did not die for me to be a gal with flawless grammar at all times who is impeccable at time management and never screws up her perfectly planned schedule. I think so often as Christians we buy into the lie that if we are not perfect, we have let down the Lord in some way. We believe that our salvation and the amount of grace we receive is because of what we do, and because we have found favor with God through that. That is FALSE. He died so that He could take an imperfect girl and make her into something beautiful and without blemish in His eyes, for His glory. God’s glory shines in the midst of our inadequacies. 2 Corinthians 12: 9, “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” He helps us accomplish more than our hearts could have imagined we ever could do.

Do you believe that God’s grace is sufficient for you? John 1:16, “For from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace.” The Lord has an abundance of grace which is available to us. The Lord has given me a desire to live boldly and freely in His love as a vivacious and passionate woman of faith. In order to live in that freedom, the Lord has been showing me burdens which I must toss away in order to embrace that freedom. Last week I talked about tossing away our fear of making the wrong choices and our fear of inadequacy, and this week I have built upon that, and God has shown me that I must also toss my perfectionism and self-expectations away. Hebrews 12:1, “Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,”. I know I have mentioned this verse a lot lately, but in order to live a life of audacity for the Lord, we must surrender our burdens.

May we live in the freedom that in our imperfections, the Lord is always and forever perfect. I praise Him for that. May you all have a blessed week, and may you all embrace your freedom in the Lord by throwing away the weights which hold you back from running in God’s love. I will see you all next week.

“The Christian does not think God will love us because we are good, but that God will make us good because He loves us.” –C.S Lewis

 

In Christ’s Love,

Sarah

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