I would like to apologize for hardly posting. My life has been crazy between college work and other events, and I’ve been a bit distracted. Today I would like to talk to you about Fickle Friendships, Fellowship, and Coffee dates, as you can tell by the title of this post. Basically I want to sit down and get real with you guys. Throughout my life I have dealt with a constant battle of what I call friendship heartbreak. I used to wonder if it was worth even placing myself in that vulnerable spot of friendship again. God has worked a lot in my own heart this past year or so and has built up this confidence, self-love, and inner strength within me. I am a warrior who is grounded in the Lord. My strength does not come from whether or not a friend stays with me. My strength comes from the Almighty God who loves me unconditionally. He is my constant.
Fickle Friendships- I have had a variety of friends over the years. I am incredibly blessed to have a list of dear friends which are a constant in my life. I have however had many friendships in which I have heavily invested myself in to only find that it is a one sided friendship. Do I regret being emotional support for people who will never be that for me? No, I don’t. As a Christian, I am to encourage and lift up those in need, expecting nothing in return. John 13:34-35 (ESV), “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.””
However, if a “friend” is consistently abusing my kindness, I am to guard my heart. Proverbs 4:23 (NIV), “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” To me guarding my heart in friendship means taking a step back and not placing myself in vulnerable positions but not cutting off the other person in the friendship. They can always come directly to me, and I will answer. I have had toxic friendships for long periods of time. With one friendship, I would continually seek out that person and attempt to encourage them; however I was continually ditched, and my feelings were deeply hurt. I had a close friend for years who turned her back on me.
I want the Lord to say to me, “Well done good and faithful servant. Thank you for loving and caring for those who were suffering, even though they did not love you back.” I will always extend my love to those who need it because I am loved unconditionally by the God above all things even though I let Him down time and time again.
Fellowship- Now let us discuss the importance of fellowship in the faith. The Bible says in Psalm 55:14 (KJV), “We took sweet counsel together, and walked unto the house of God in company.” The Bible is clear that as the body of Christ we are to grow together, worship together, and pray together. Hebrews 10:24-25 (ESV), “And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” The Church is filled with a variety of believers who all have different testimonies and giftings. Yet we all have the same foundation in Christ. Therefore all races and all social classes can unite together.
When one believer suffers, we suffer with them as the Body for we are one together. Having fellowship with believers and mentors who are believers is crucial to having an intimate relationship with Christ. Revelation 19:7 (ESV), “Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his Bride has made herself ready;” The Church is the Bride of Christ, and will spend eternity as intimate with Christ.
When you are going through struggles, being backed up by the prayers of other believers is incredibly encouraging. Over the years I have had multiple health battles. About three years ago I struggled with back and neck pains. Then I struggled with sickness for nine months which I almost needed surgery for. Now I suffer from migraines. It has been rough, but the Lord has proved that He is in control of my sicknesses. I am under His wings of protection. If I had not been backed up by other believers, and received their love, I do not know where I would be emotionally. The nine month sickness I fell into a trap of depression. Even though I continually pushed others away and refused to accept their love, they kept caring for me. They kept praying and pursuing me. One outlet which has deeply encouraged me through all trials is my leadership group in youth group. Each week before youth group we meet and share what God has shared with us through our weekly quiet times. We pray for each other, and we can be completely open with one another. They bless me, and they have stuck by me always.
Coffee Dates- A little under a year ago I began drinking coffee because I realized that it helped me with my migraines. Now I love coffee and drink it regularly. One of my favorite things about coffee is that it is a wonderful way to connect with friends. I am blessed to have close friends and friend/mentors who I can meet up with when I’m free over a cup of coffee and simply share life with each other. Everyone has their own favorite ways of connecting with friends. I would have to say mine is definitely going out for coffee.
Let’s take the time today to thank the Lord for the people who He has placed in our lives to encourage us and stir us up in our faith. God knew that humans need companionship, and so ever since Adam and Eve, we have been bonding with other humans in friendship and in relationships.
The Lord is good! May you have a blessed day!
Signed with God’s Love,